I was twenty-two, standing in a crowded Tokyo subway, when it happened.
A tiny Japanese grandmother, no taller than my shoulder, looked up at me – a lost, overwhelmed foreigner clutching a useless map – and without a single word, she pressed her hands to her chest, crossed her arms in a gentle hug, and smiled.
In that instant, with no shared spoken language, I understood: You are safe. You are loved.
That universal hug gesture – the one almost every hearing person instinctively recognizes as “I love you” in sign language – wasn’t even formal sign language to her. It was just… human.
That moment shattered something in me.
We fight over words, borders, and pronunciations, yet somehow, across every continent, when we want to say the most important thing, our bodies often say it the same way.
This post isn’t really about “how to say the n-word.”
It’s about how to say the real word that matters – love – in spoken languages, signed languages, and the silent language of the heart that every culture secretly shares.
The Universal Sign That Needs No Translation
In almost every major sign language (American ASL, British BSL, French LSF, Japanese JSL, and dozens more), the informal way to sign “love” is the same:
→ Cross both arms over your chest like a self-hug.
It’s so universal that hearing people worldwide use it as an emoji-like gesture (think of the 🫶 trending on TikTok).
Formal signs differ – ASL uses the “I Love You” handshape (🤟), Italian LIS uses a heart shape traced in the air – but the hug? That one belongs to everyone.
A Reference Table: How the World Says “Love”
| Language | Word/Phrase | Pronunciation (approx.) | Cultural/Linguistic Note |
| French | amour | ah-moor | The language of love cliché is real – French has seven different verbs for “to love” depending on intensity. |
| Spanish | amor | ah-MOR | Same root as French; “te amo” (romantic) vs “te quiero” (friendly/romantic) is a cultural minefield. |
| Italian | amore | ah-MO-reh | Sung more than spoken – opera literally means “work of love.” |
| German | Liebe | LEE-buh | Capitalized as a noun; Germans say “Ich hab’ dich lieb” (lighter) or “Ich liebe dich” (heavy artillery). |
| Portuguese | amor | ah-MOR | Brazilians say “te amo” freely; Portuguese from Portugal reserve it for life-or-death moments. |
| Mandarin Chinese | 爱 (ài) | eye (falling tone) | Ancient character shows a heart (心) inside “accept”; was taboo to say directly until the 20th century. |
| Hindi | प्यार / प्रेम (pyār / prem) | pyār / prem | Bollywood made “pyār” famous; “prem” is the deeper, spiritual love. |
| Japanese | 愛 (ai) | ah-ee | Rarely said directly; people show love through actions. Saying “aishiteru” can feel embarrassingly intense. |
| Korean | 사랑 (sarang) | sah-rahng | “Saranghae” exploded globally thanks to K-pop. |
| Arabic | حب (ḥubb) | hubb | Root of “hobbit” (no, really – Tolkien borrowed it). “Ḥubb” is both romantic and divine love. |
| Swahili | pendo / mapenzi | PEN-do / mah-PEN-zee | “Pendo” is divine love; “mapenzi” is the passionate, sometimes chaotic kind. |
| Zulu | uthando | oo-TAHN-doh | Often expressed through communal song more than individual declaration. |
| Yoruba | ìfẹ́ | ee-FEH | Same word for romantic love and the divine love of the gods. |
| Māori | aroha | ah-RO-hah | Means love, compassion, and empathy all at once – you can’t separate them. |
| Hawaiian | aloha | ah-LO-hah | Greeting, farewell, and love – one word carries an entire philosophy. |
| Cherokee | ᎦᏓᎵᏍᎩ (gadalvgi) | gah-dah-luh-skee | Literally “I am grateful for you” – love and gratitude are inseparable. |
| Samoan | alofa | ah-LO-fah | Same Polynesian root as Hawaiian aloha – love is oceanic, boundless. |
(…and yes, I stopped at 17 for readability, but there are thousands more – Basque “maite,” Inuit “atchiaraq,” Shona “rudo,” Tagalog “mahal,” Wolof “bëgg,” etc.)
European Languages
Europe gave us Romeo and Juliet, courtly love, and the concept of “falling” in love like it’s an accident.
The Latin root amare echoes through French, Spanish, Italian, and Portuguese, turning love into something operatic. Meanwhile, German’s stiff “Liebe” reflects a culture that treats love as serious, deliberate work.
Asian Languages
In many East Asian cultures, saying “I love you” directly was historically seen as crude or unnecessary. Japanese grandparents might live 70 years together and never say “aishiteru.”
Instead, love is a bowl of miso soup placed silently on the table at 3 a.m. when you’re studying. Mandarin’s 爱 (ài) only became common in the 1920s under Western influence – before that, poetry did the talking.
African Languages
In many Bantu languages, love isn’t primarily between two people – it’s between person and community.
Zulu’s “ubuntu” (“I am because we are”) means you can’t fully love someone if you don’t love the village. Yoruba’s ìfẹ́ is the same force that binds humans to orishas (deities). Love is cosmic.
Indigenous & Island Languages
For Māori, aroha is the force that connects people to the whenua (land) and tupuna (ancestors).
You don’t just love a person – you love the mountain they’re buried under. In Hawaiian, aloha is a law: hurt someone and you’ve damaged the whole circle of life. Love is responsibility.
How “Love” Evolved Through History
- Oldest known writing (Sumerian cuneiform, 4000 BCE): the word for love was already a picture of a heart.
- Ancient Egypt: the verb “mer” meant both “to love” and “to want” – no separation.
- Sanskrit: eight different words for love, from lust (kama) to universal compassion (karuna).
- Greek gave us four (later eight) distinct loves: eros, philia, ag
Proverbs About Love From Around the World
- Arabic: “The heart that loves is always young.”
- Japanese: “Even monkeys fall from trees” – even the wisest can fall in love foolishly.
- Yoruba: “Love is sweet, but it’s sweeter with money.”
- French: “Love is blind, but marriage restores sight.”
- Zulu: “You cannot love a person with a cold heart; love needs warmth.”
- Hawaiian: “Aloha is given freely; hoarding it makes it disappear.”
FAQs
Why does “love” sound similar in so many European languages?
Because they all descend from Latin amare via Proto-Indo-European h₂meh₂-, roughly “to caress tenderly.”
What’s the oldest known use of a word for love?
Sumerian “ki āg” – literally “to measure the earth preciously” – circa 3100 BCE.
Why do some cultures avoid saying “I love you”?
Direct declaration can feel like casting a spell – too powerful, or it removes the mystery that keeps love alive.
The Final Hug
We may pronounce it differently, hide it behind actions, or sing it from rooftops, but every culture on Earth has a word – or a gesture – for love.
And when words fail, we still cross our arms over our chests like that Tokyo grandmother did for a terrified stranger.
So tell me in the comments:
What is “love” called in your language?
How do you say it without words?
